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Uhm, I think there's a glitch? I got to here and there are no links to the next part so I'm a little confused. I tried restarting and it always stops me at this part. The game is great tho, I love the storyline

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the same thing happens in the other route, too. I assume it's because the game's not done, so you just have to wait until it's updated to continue.

Oooooh that makes sense. Thanks for help

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Missed this ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… yep that's absolutely correct, it doesn't continue when there's nowhere to go. I think next update I'm going to invest some time in adding an end screen, because you're not alone in the confusion !!

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It's okay, I can wait, the story is really interesting and I love text based games. Unfortunately, they are usually with a price, so I'm glad I found you. I also read Hybrid, and I love your writing style. Again, no hurry and keep up the good work!

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the new version runs very well !! i could've sworn i'd played the grocery shopping chapter and commented but i can't find it on the old site so

love the range of siruud's aliases

looove how snarky, and flirtatious, the banter gets, like mc commenting on eden/siruud's clothing and "so we're in this mess because you wanted to be petty" as well as the exposition "the most sacred rule of non-engagement, holiest in the bulk supermarket"

the thought of eden/siruud standing in the supermarket entrance profoundly confused is hilarious

oohh the suspense of adrien bright and what both tahira and siruud are holding back good good GOOD 

i found a small(?) repetition and hopefully screenshots are a good way to relay this

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Ohhhhhhh, thank-you, I think there's probably a few of those where I went "no surely that's too long" and copy/pasted without removing the extra text lol. I've caught one already and there's a weird little passage area where one is conspicuously missing just purely because I fucked up. And I had this posted to itch before it switch to Twine but apparently it wasn't allowed to be posted anywhere but the forum as a COG, which was why I switched.

Also THANK YOU !!! ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก Also who among us, now of all times, would engage with anyone in a grocery store. Before it was just polite to let people do their thing but now?

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I can't believe how hooked I am already! The writing is so great, can't wait for the full release! Hoping it gets a little steamy :D because Siruud seems totally the dominating type :D :D :D 

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Maybe not as steamy as some people are hoping, but there's more outright romance in the future ๐Ÿ˜‚ thanks for commenting, I'm glad you like it !!!

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I've played up to an end, and I absolutely adore this game!! The characters are interesting and lovable, the writing is clean, skilled, and funny, and the way the game allows you to develop your personality and who you are is so nicely done!! This is a stunning game the completely embodies my love for twine games! Thank you so much for making this!

AHH I'm glad you like it !! And I'm glad the personality is coming through, I'm always a little lowkey worried it becomes word soup after a while ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก And I'm glad that it works well in Twine !! It was a Twine game that moved to a different engine and then back so it's been a REAL journey.

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About your default name problem, but maybe I misunderstood what exactly the problem is:

You can just do the same with the default name as you did with other variables like magic, by typing a default name inside the quotation marks instead of leaving them empty. For example:
(set: $firstname to "Alix")(set: $lastname to "Dalton")

You can also have a default text displayed in the text input boxes by writing it in the quotation marks of the value segment. That will not yet set the variable to the displayed text though. That only happens upon executing the confirm button:
<input class="box" type="text" name="firstname" value="Alix">

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See, I was doing the (set:) but it would only set ONE of the names for some reason? The second name will ALWAYS be 0. I tried both setting the value on click to the next passage, and setting them at the start of the next passage, and either way it would always set the first name and never the last. And then if I try setting a default value then it'll for sure show up in the box, but unfortunately if that "confirm" button isn't clicked then nothing is set and the whole name is 0.

Thanks for suggesting the value thing though, I hadn't thought of that. I think that would work but it's something to do with how the javascript is being made to work with Twine. It might be inevitable that those 'confirm' MUST be clicked. I could always set a default name when I initialize the variables... thanks again ๐Ÿงก

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Have you tried out a combination of (set:) and (prompt:) yet? It's a bit intrusive as (prompt:) makes a text box pop up instead of it being smoothly set inside of the text. And cause the prompt pops up as soon as it's loaded, I combined it with a (link:) that only reveals/loads the rest of the passage upon clicking it. You can leave the part where I wrote "Charlie" empty, that'd just be the default text displayed.

I don't have that much experience with Harlowe though, I've so far mostly worked with SugarCube. Might be that there are better ways for this:

You've always held the deeply insignificant belief that the text is wrong: your (link: "first name...") [==
(set: $firstname to (prompt: "Your first name...", "Charlie"))

...seems to be a little larger than your (link: "last name...") [==
(set: $lastname to (prompt: "Your last name...", "Birmington"))

...but when you'd asked if maybe a mistake had been made, the man at the desk had said it didn't matter...

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I actually specifically did it this way to avoid using prompt because I hate the timing of the prompt (ie I have to give names their own passages because they will pop up right away) and I hate that it clashes with the aesthetic of the game and breaks immersion. This isn't a perfect solution but I have used prompt and wanted this code on purpose to avoid it ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… 

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Okay, my last attempt! This must be annoying, I'm sorry.
First, the variables $firstname and $lastname have to be set/created somewhere so that the variables actually have a value, even if it's "".
(set: $firstname to "", $lastname to "")

Then on the passage where the player inputs their name, I tried to figure out how to force the player to do so. Allowing the player only to continue once they hit those "Confirm" buttons.

My solution now was to turn [that was that.] into a named hook.
Then I created an (even:) that checks whether $lastname and $firstname have the value "" or not.
Once both variables have a value that is not "", the named hook gets replaced with a passage link.
Meaning the player can only continue once both names have been set.

See below:

...but when you'd asked if maybe a mistake had been made, the man at the desk had said it didn't matter, and [that was that.]<goto|
(event: when ($firstname is not "") and ($lastname is not ""))[(replace: ?goto)[[[that was that.->prologue_6 start]]]]

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Oh no it's not annoying !! I'm glad to have another set of eyes on it !! And it probably would be good to at least be able to inform people when they haven't hit the right buttons huh, although I still would rather just set a name for them. I think my big issue isn't so much worry that people will forget, more or less that there's a subset of readers who aren't interested in picking a name at all and would usually opt for a default.

am initializing first and last name to be blank, but I did so with the intent of setting a name if the names had not been set using confirm, which circles us back around to "it only works for ONE of the variables for no particular reason". My prior idea to set a "default" name while initializing the variables and then allowing them to be overwritten with the confirm button yielded results though !! Not functioning results, but I'm finding that regardless of how first and last name are intialized, the javascript will always overwrite them with null value 0 if the confirm button isn't clicked. Even setting the value in the HTML is moot if the confirm buttons aren't clicked.

OH I JUST DID IT !! I made the (set:) on the subsequent page check for both a variable that was equal to zero and a variable that was completely unset. I think the reason for it only working for one or the other when I attempted one way or another is because I think the code is meant to serve one name box on one page, s I think one name was being set t value blank, or whatever value was in the HTML, and the other one wasn't being set at all.

Or, whatever. I'm going to upload that change, thanks for talking through it with me !!

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I think. I love this. And probably Siruud. Definitely Siruud. ;-;  

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If only he was worthy ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿงก

(1 edit) (+1)

I've been a fan of your work for a fairly long while, but I've always been too timid to comment, so I'm just going to go for it. I love this "new" project!! The setting is really interesting and unique, the writing is snappy and clean and fun to read, and I am deeply invested in the 'reluctant buddy-cop' vibe I'm getting from Siruud and MC's "partnership." 

Thank you so much for sharing your fantastic work with us; I'm really excited to see where this goes!   <3   :) 

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AH I'm glad you commented !! And I'm glad you're liking Siruud !!!! ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก

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I knew it was still in development when I started but noooo I want more XD. I didn't realise I was reading romance at first because I was too excited to read the tags lol but it was really good! Siruud kind of reminds me of Howl from Howls Moving Castle. They just kind of give off the same vibe especially the book version of Howl. Anyway can't wait for more <3

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Siruud WOULD end up being a himbo from Wales ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ all this mystique WASTED...I'm glad you liked it !! Thanks for commenting !!!!! ๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก๐Ÿงก

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You've been one of my favorites for a long time, but re-reading this has reminded me that I absolutely love your writing. 

And Siruud. 

I can't wait for him to realize he's in love with MC. 

I found quite a few of the same issues the first poster did. Looks like just missing some opening/closing tags for your italics, so hopefully won't be too much work. 

I can't wait for more Manor Hill and Hybrid! And this new one I just noticed! Just to be sure, the demo is ended right after meeting the two agents outside the subway, correct? There is no option to continue or restart. 

I love this format and hope to see a lot more works migrate that way. 

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Yep, that's where it ends !! I gotta make a restart button, I thought Twine would work differently once it was run but I'm being proven wrong real time ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… it's a pretty fast fix though so at least by tomorrow it'll be fixed !!

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I love it!! At first I was hesitant with the color scheme of red font with a black background (eye strain), but was pleasantly surprised that they brighten to white upon a mouse rollover. It also helps distinguishing when there are multiple options to choose from. 


Question though, I've never used this type of format/platform, so how does one restart the game? I see the save button, but no menu or even load

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I think I made a mistake with regards to how Twine ends up working when actually in browser. With the HTML file itself I could keep launching and it would start from the beginning every time: I don't think it does that here ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… quick fix !!

This format is fun and the writing is epic as always! Look forward to seeing what happens next.

Did find a small issue in the text (think it was italic coding that broke):

Siruud's head snaps towards you as if you have been around her without him for ieven a moment,/i and you glower back at him.

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Ahh yeah x.x It's an issue with the format it was in vs the format it's in now. Twine uses HTML tags (so tags surrounded by <>) but the previous format used tags in []. It's not a matter of forgetting tags so much as they're just formatted wrong ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… thought I got them all, thanks for letting me know !!

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